You have to stand guard over the development and maintenance of democracy, social justice and the equality of mankind in your own native soil. [Mohammed Ali Jinnah]

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

General Kiyani's [fictional] letter

I wish this wasn't fictional...

Meray Aziz Hum Watno,

In the last 60 years of Pakistan and especially during the past decade, the image of Pakistan Army and that of the high rank officers of Pakistan's Army in particular has severely deteriorated. Pakistan Army has lost its respect in the eyes of the most of Pakistanis, as a result of which I have decided to take this drastic action and writing you this letter today.

Today, as the commander in chief of Pakistan Army, I will make my best efforts to assure you that things will change for the better future of Pakistan and this letter will mark as a turning point in the History of Pakistan Army and Pakistan.

God has blessed us with an opportunity to admit/confess our blunders, incompetency, incapability and other unlawful and unprofessional actions. As Chief of Pakistan's Army, I ask all Pakistanis for forgiveness and Pakistan Army as Institution promises of behaving in a way that fulfils the nation's expectations in future.

I herby announce the following actions:

Supremacy of Constitution & Accountability:

1- Change in PMA Curriculum to ensure that each Officer understands that they are subordinates to the Nation, its Constitution and the Law of the Land, and not to the Chief of Army Staff or any other Officer. Senior Lawyers will be hired to give lectures in the PMA so that the obedience to constitution is properly understood and ensured for officers in future.

2- Oath of the Army officers will be revised as per proposals of civilian government to make it more clear on supremacy of civilian rule. All the serving Army officers will also take this new oath and the oath ceremonies of all officers above rank of Major Generals will be held in Prime Minster House and will be broadcasted to Public.

3- Military training of Army officers going abroad (US, UK or EU) will be carried out with intensive pre-departure psychological scrutiny and post-training debriefing to insure that they have not been infiltrated by foreign powers.

4- There has been increasing number of incidents of bullying, torture, abuse of power by Army Officers against Civilians. Effective immediately, I announce that cases for all such incidents will be taken to a Civilian Court, and till the decision of the case, such officers will remain suspended and in civilian custody. Army will not use any coercive methods to harass the media from reporting such events and the names/ranks of culprits.

5- All Missing Persons in custody of Pakistan Army or related entities will be released immediately OR handed over to civilian authorities for prosecution through due process of law. Any involvement in kidnapping of any Pakistani Civilian, including that of a Prime Minister by the Army in future will be considered as terrorism, and will be punishable by death as per the laws of country.

6- In order to ensure that any Army Generals do not overthrow elected governments in future, all army collaborators in all previous military take-overs, will submit to the nation and to the court of law. The culprits of 1971 as identified in Hamood-ur-Rehman Commission report will be punished, even after death to finally correct our wrong doings of past.

7- Role of ISI will be redefined to focus on external threats only and monitoring of Pakistani civilians, including politicians, judges and journalists will be considered treason. I also announce closing of ISI media cells and the permanent suspension of funding for propaganda campaigns through all sorts of Ahmed Quraishis and Zaid Hamids effective immediately.

Military Budget and Economy Revival:

8- The 2400-acre GHQ land in sectors E10 and D11 of Islamabad will be immediately sold to overseas Pakistanis, which will boost the economy of our motherland. This most expensive and luxurious piece of land at foot of Margala Hills in Islamabad would fetch at least 80 Billion Rupees equivalent of foreign reserves. This amount should be good to clear large portion of our foreign debt.

9- I announce the transfer of all military bases and properties from the urban areas into nearby cheaper rural areas to end the symbols of British Colonial rule. The thousands of acres prime properties in centre of urban areas like Rawalpindi, Lahore, Jehlam and Karachi should fetch 10 Trillion Rupees, which would be enough to provide clean water, basic education and healthcare to every single Pakistani Citizen. I assure you that this action will be started immediately and completed within 2 years time.

10- Pakistan Army will cut down its conventional army from 550,000 to a lean, high tech and smart force of 200,000. When it comes to war, a smaller and more efficient force is better than a large number of unprofessional soldiers. This change will save 2 Trillion Rupees of taxpayer's money over a period of 5 years.

11- I announce that allotment of plots and properties to army officers without accountability will be stopped immediately. All previous allotments of lands and plots will be brought under public scrutiny to determine the number of plots sold illegally by army officers, violating the rules and regulations and the main objective of allotment.

12- No army officer would be given more than one plot during his career, and that too will be based on his performance. The full cost of plots will be paid from Army Budget and will be bought from Civilian Government on market rates, instead of 2,000 Rupees per Kanal.

13- Allotment of Agricultural lands to Army officers will be ceased immediately and permanently. All disputes with farmers regarding Agricultural lands (like Okara Farms Scandal) and any other issues with civilians will be settled through civilian courts ASAP.

14- Effectively immediately, I announce that the benefits of all Army Officers will be made compatible with that of Civil Servants. This will ensure that a Grade-20 Army Officer will get the same benefits as any Grade-20 Civil Servant. This will boost the morale of Civilian Government and also lower the burden on taxpayers by several billion rupees every year.

15- All non-military properties owned by Army for entertainment purposes, including all golf courses, rest houses and resorts at prime locations like Bhorban and all over Pakistan will be immediately and unconditionally privatized. This would generate 35 Billion Rupees that will be handed over to Education Ministry, so they can build several universities with Research & Development facilities.

16- I also prohibit the use of army properties or equipment for personal use. From now, no army vehicles will be seen on streets for personal purpose, like for buying groceries or trips to beauty parlours. This move will alone save 2 Billion Rupees of taxpayer's money from fuel and maintenance costs annually.

Pakistan Zindabad,

COAS General Ashfaq Pervez Kiyani

Pakistan Army

Fictional Letter by COAS Kiyani, written by Dr. Akram Khan

1 comment:

Deja Vu said...

Gen Kiyani wants to do ONE thing before writing this letter.

(after recovering the money)

and shoot all the Idiotic & Anti-State Fuedals.

He asked me to assure the Pakistani nation that given the two condition above, army will NEVER EVER return to Politics.